Wanted

Rating: G
Characters: Lust, somewhat Lust/?
Disclaimer: Arakawa owns them all.
Notes: Lust talks.

I don't want it all. Money. Men. Women. Maybe I'll want them sometimes, but I don't need them all, I just want a bit of what they all have. A bit of their tears, their happiness, even a bit of those stupid feelings. I don't need too much, just a bit of a soul. But you wanted it all.

I don't want to kill them all just because they make me angry. There would be moments when I'd bite and punch, but I don't hate them. I can't. They're too soft and too easy to kill, and when there's blood, there are screams, and most of the time I don't want to see more blood. But you wanted to kill them all.

I don't want to be the best. I don't want to be like him, or like her. It's OK if they are smarter than me, and more beautiful, because I want to be me. It would be easier if I was me, but had her past, or his strong will, or anything, but that's a trick. I'm so tired of playing tricks that I can't wish I was like anybody. Being me is OK, losing sometimes is OK. But you always wanted to be the best, never minded if you forgot who you were long ago.

I don't want power. Keep it. Use it. Do whatever you want but after all, even when you think you're better and somehow it was a God who gave it to you... that's a lie. Because you use that power to have it all. To kill them all. To be the best. And that makes you worse than them. But you wanted power. And you got it.

I don't want to be no one's shadow. The waiting, the expectation, waiting for what? Maybe you're just too lazy to live, and you wouldn't even know how to do it if they gave you a chance. I don't like sleeping, I want my eyes wide open all the time. I'm not a stream to flow wherever my basin takes me. You slept in his shadows.

I don't want to taste it all. I'd give you a half of all my rations to stop your hunger.

It's not that difficult, what I want I mean. But all of you were blind and deaf to it, lost in your sins, in the material feelings. Wanting, killing, changing, being promoted, sleeping, devouring. None of you ever understood what I needed, my target.

And when I found it, it was too late for me. I wanted to love. I knew I needed feelings. But, in the end, I wanted him to love me.

Not so difficult to understand. Love. Impossible, stupid feeling.